To miss or not to miss you? There are all of these things I want to say to you but I know I shouldn’t; not if I want to stick with my decision to keep us broken up. But this sucks. There are things I want to tell him, things that will make us both happy, but how long will the happiness last? I know I can be happy with him for the rest of my life but how do I maintain that happiness right now?
He said I need to control my temper. He’s right. One small annoyance turns into a break up and calling him bad names. I don’t like being corrected, but for the sake of my love for him, I need to let it go. How do I tell him this when I can barely believe I can do it? Am I a horrible person for my temper? He told me he’s never been this hurt by anyone before. Maybe I am a terrible person.
My heart hurts but I know I needed to make this decision. He was probably the best I ever had but I know I wasn’t for him. He’ll find someone who will fight for him.
In three days Tony and I are celebrating our one year anniversary! I don’t know what he has planned for us to do all day but I think he’s going to take me up to the spot where we had our first kiss, well my surprise kiss from him :) he kiss-attacked me hehe but I’m sure it will be a fun time. I always have a good time with Tony and this day is already going to be so special.
But before we head off and start out anniversary adventure, I have a Jon interview at the Sunnyvale Macy’s! I’m super excited! I like job interviews because usually I get hired ;) well, I don’t know. I don’t want to jinx anything but I would really like to work at Macy’s. Plus, I need to pay off my wedding dress that’s on layaway at David’s Bridal and pay Lina back as soon as I can!
Speaking of Lina, her wedding is on Saturday!! I’m so excited for her! :’) She’s worked so hard to keep her relationship with her fiancé working and all of her hard work is paying off! In the bear future she’s going to move to Virginia where her fiancé has a home and a job but it’s going to suck balls for me because she’s my best friend :(
I don’t look like the typical Filipino girl. I got Mexican and Chinese today lol; I guess that’s not a bad thing, right?
I’m not “playing games” this time, jackass. Where the hell did that shit come from?
I have my wedding dress on layaway! :)
Lina and I met up at David’s Bridal around 4pm today. I only wanted to go because I needed to know my wedding dress size and see if they had the same type of gown I wanted online, in the store.
I met with my gown consultant, Chelsea, and she started pulling off dresses for me. The first few dresses I tried on, I was able to get a feel on how a wedding dress would fit on me. After trying on white dresses, I knew right away that wasn’t the right color for me. I told Chelsea that I was looking for something that was off-white or a little bit more ivory-colored. I described to her what I wanted my wedding gown to look like and I told her I wanted a sweetheart neckline, rouching, and not trumpet or mermaid skirts. Then she started bringing dresses that looked good. The third to last dress I tried on was a slim lace gown with cap sleeves and a keyhole back. I thought the dress was gorgeous! I liked how the dress hugged my body in all of the right places, it covered up the tops of my shoulders and the back of the dress had a very big dramatic keyhole. I knew right then that was the dress I wanted. Chelsea had me try on a few more dresses and there was another dress I tried on that was also pretty nice but I kept thinking back to the dress I originally loved. I asked Chelsea how much the gowns were; the one I loved was about $700 and the second one I tried on was about half of that. I thought and thought about it. Lina said to stick with the cheaper dress because the more expensive gown might not be appropriate for the Church but I told her I really liked the dress. It looks beautiful on me! With the right undergarments I look really good in the more expensive gown :)
Unfortunately, because the gown price was more than the budget, I called Tony and told him. In the end, we put the dress on layaway and we’re making payments on it for the next 60 days. It’s going to be tough because Tony has to remake his budget to include the cost of the gown but he said we can make it work. I’m so excited! I have my wedding gown!
I’m waiting for Lina to send me the pictures she took of all the dresses I tried on so I can see how everything looked.
No one’s played any tricks on me today but I still feel like the biggest fool.
I’d you don’t want to talk to me then just tell me, especially after all that wasted time waiting on and worrying about you.
Even the people YOU’RE friends with think your actions are shady.
I had the BEST beginning to my birthday week to date! It started off with a trip to the California Academy of Sciences to check out the museum and the planetarium. The planetarium show was really interesting and the next one they’re playing is about earthquakes. Tony and I are planning on checking that out too in a couple of months. After the museum we went to Sprint to get me my NEW PHONE!! :) The white 4S. It’s a pretty amazing phone :) After Sprint we went to the mall across the road to use the restroom, check out the pet store that has puppies, and buy lemonade and pretzels to snack on. Overall, it was a pretty amazing early birthday date
Ugh. One hour forward? That gives me five hours of sleep before I have to start getting ready for Santa Sena tomorrow morning. Our HS’s always happen the day daylight savings starts. Que horiblé!
You’d probably rather just chat over Facebook than be on the phone with me, right? That’s how I feel. And I feel this way because the only time we do talk on the phone is at night, when we’re both ready to fall asleep. It’s sad.
Hmmm and he does prefer chat over being on the phone with me. He says I say more on fb chat. If what he means are my “oh ok”, “yeah”, “hahaha/lol” responses means I’m saying more than I guess I have to add more of those responses while we’re on the phone. Nice. Thanks for making me feel stupid and boring.
That was a load of bullshit
